..Replying to journal comments on this pathetic thing: [link]

Holy shit I should slap my stupid ass self for that bullshit. It seems so attention whorey. Did people think it was attention whorey? I hope not..

So.. This is the aftermath:

After my journal, I got off DA and just cried for about an hour. An hour later, I went into the bathroom and cut wrists, apparently I cut a bit too deep and I fainted cause of blood loss. After that, I guess someone in my family found me and called the amublance. I woke up after about two days later in the hospital. Apparently I was close to death but was revived twice. I was in the hospital for about two weeks (which was the most boring two weeks of my life). I talked to Emi and Rayne ?twice? in that whole time. I don't remember if I talked to them a lot.. I just told them what happened and they told me they care. After that, I went home two weeks later and went on and went back to 'normal life'. But I was being watched by my family CLOSELY for about a month, my mom wouldn't stop checking my wrists making sure I wasn't secretly cutting myself.
It was very stressful, but then it just hit me like a brick.

I was fucking stupid.
I was an huge ass idiot.
I made people worry.
Why did I do that?
I hate making people worry.
I'm a fucking douche-bag.
I was so dumb..
But..

I see everything now.
I see people who care.
Even strangers told me I was a strong person.
They told me they cared.
You know how much every word meant to me?
Every single word that everyone said made me cry.
I cried a lot.
It touched me.
I don't deserve such nice people in my life, such amazing folks supporting me and giving a damn about me.

I don't deserve them.
But I'm glad they're there.
I'm happy that people cared..

I love everyone.
I don't care if this seems fucking creepy, but I love everyone who gave a damn.


Thank you so much.


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<EDIT> ;
This seemed all dark so here's some happiness??

I will make you all laugh/smile/roll your eyes I don't know.

On my journal I had about 50+ replies (I think I dunno) I read so many fucking award winning novels my eyes burn holy shit. I'm glad I read all them though. Don't think I replied to all my comments without reading. I read every single one, and replied to all of them. I busted my ass holy shit. I think I spent about an hour in total replying to stuff. Can you believe that bullshit? Damn.

All jokes aside, don't think I'm an ungrateful bitch or something. I appreciate it so much. Like seriously I do. I wish I can hug people over the Internet. Dammit technology.